SNOW!!! (and some celery)
So, remember my lovely, lovely table in the backyard, where I ate many a summer breakfast and drank many an evening glass of wine? This table? The one my brother made for me, and I love so, so much?
It looks like this, now:
TWO FEET!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Waaaa-HHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Last winter, I wrote this post about how I feel about snow, so I'll spare you my waxing rhapsodic about it all over again. Also? My neighbors hosted a blizzard potluck party last night, and about 40 of us here in the 'hood spent 6-7 hours eating, drinking, laughing, drinking some more, which was followed by some more drinking, and the sound of my fingers hitting my laptop keyboard right now is at Gatling-like levels, so I'm gonna keep this post short and sweet.
Instead, I'll torture you with a video of my eating celery during what was one of the more mild moments of the blizzard:
Thanks, Linda, for filming it!
Like I said in the video, we're about $600 short of the $8,000 milestone -- the one where I tap-dance at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. So, let's get there. Surely, they'll have plowed and shoveled enough for me to dance up a storm this week or next.
- When we reach $1,000 in donations, I'll eat a handful of cilantro.
- At the $2,500 mark, I'll eat 6 raw oysters. [we're really close, and I'm really afraid]
- At the $5,000 milestone, I'll eat tripe soup. [click here for how awful this is gonna be]
- At the $6,500 milestone, I'll eat some celery. WITH NOTHING ELSE ON IT.
- Raise $8,000 (meeting last year's donations) and I'll tap dance in front of the White House. Yes, I own tap shoes, and no, I haven't used them since 1986.
- Think we can get to $10,000? If so, I'll eat a softshell crab with a side of durian.
- At $12,500, I'll videotape myself singing some really awful song at karaoke -- New Kids on the Block, Milli Vanilli, Celine Dion, Tone Loc...
- Reach $15,000, and I'll go work the line in a restaurant.
- If we go above $30,000, I'll sweeten the giveaway pot and take one lucky donor to Alinea for dinner sometime in 2010.
- And, if we reach $100,000 in donations to Share Our Strength, I'll not just change my name to Alinea Blymire, I'll take it one step further: I'll legally change my name to the different sized circles on the Alinea menu. Don't believe I'll do it? TRY ME. Prince ain't got nothin' on me.
Coming soon: A blog post in which I cook something!! Most likely Pork, grapefruit, sage, honeycomb.