You know how when you play Tetris and the bricks don't line up and plonk into place like you need them to? They keep piling up and piling up and piling up -- with odd little bits of blank space in between -- until your screen is filled and there's no more room for anything else to fall into place? And you get stressed out beyond belief -- even though it is just a stupid video game -- because you want to fit more things in, and fit them in the right way, the efficient way -- and you can't?
That is my life right now.
I'm in a bit of a work-related transition at the moment, which, when it all plays out will be very good but at the time is incredibly stressful. And of course, it's all coming during a time when Congress and our political climate are in a state of I-don't-even-know-what-to-call-it-anymore.
On top of everything, it is crunch time for Mike's book.
And, as much as I like to think I Can Do It All Because I Am Just That Awesome, I have to tell you: I can't.
Writing those two words -- I can't -- is something I know I've needed to do for the past few weeks, but haven't been able to bring myself to do because it makes me feel like a failure. "I can't" is not usually in my vocabulary. This is new for me, the letting go of some things I really love to do so I can get my shit together and realign and refocus.
Over the past few months, every time I made a shopping list for a dish for this blog, I got sidetracked to another client crisis. Every week that I've set aside time to cook has been taken over by work I get paid to do. And, when you're a self-employed single gal with a mortgage, you do the paid work. Which isn't always the choice that makes me happy, but it's the grown-up thing we all have to do at one point or another, right?
So rather than drag this all out, I'm going on hiatus through the end of the year. I'll be back in January sometime in 2012 when the dust has settled and my Tetris blocks are falling neatly into place and giving me room to add more. This blog is the first thing back on the list.
I miss it already.